"To my Chris
I've been thinking how to tell how much you mean to me.
I remember when I first started to fall in love with you, like it was last night.
Lying naked beside you in that tiny apartment
It suddenly hit me that I was part of this whole larger thing.
Just like our parents.
And our parent's parents.
Before that I was just living my life like
I knew everything.
And suddenly this bright light hit me and woke me up.
That light was you.
I can't believe it's really been 50 years since you married me.
And still to this day, every day
You make me feel like the girl I was
when you first turned on the light and woke me up,
and we started this adventure together.
Happy anniversary.
My love my friend until the end.
Loretta.
Print.
Chris.
My best friend
How lucky that I met you 50 years ago.
Beautifulhandwrittenletters.com please wait.
Theodore!
- Writer number 612. - Hello, Paul.
Even more mesmerizing stuff today.
Who knew you can rhyme so
words with the name Penelope.
It's badass.
Thanks, Paul.
But they're just letters.
Hey that's a nice shirt.
Oh, thank you.
I just got it.
It reminded me of someone "suave".
Now it reminds me of someone suave.
Have a good night, Paul.
Play melancholy song.
Play different melancholy song.
Check e-mails.
- E-mail from Best Buy. Checkout all your favorite new products - Delete.
E-mail from Amy.
Hey, Theodore. Lewman's having a bunch of people over this weekend.
Let's all go together.
I miss you.
I mean, not the sad and mopey you. The old fun you.
Let's get him out. Give me a shout back.
Love, Amy.
- Respond later. - E-mail from LA times weather.
- Your 7 days forecast is - Delete.
No new e-mails.
Next.
China-India merger headed for regulatory approval
- Next. - World Trade deal stalled as talks break down
Sexy star Kimberly Ashford,
reveals provocative pregnancy photos.
Come spoon me.
I'll fucking kill you!
Don't laugh, it's not funny. I'll fucking kill you!
I love you so much I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Put a chatroom standard search.
The following are an adult female who can't sleep and want to have some fun.
I really had a bad day at work and I can't sleep.
Is there anybody out there that can talk?
Next.
Hi, I just want you to tear me apart
Next.
Hi, I'm here alone and I can't sleep.
Who's out there to share this bed with me?
Send message.
I'm in bed next to you. I'm glad you can't sleep.
Even if you were, I'd have to wake you up.
From the inside. Send message.
Sexykitten has accepted the invitation of BigGuy4x4
Chat begins now.
- "Bigguy"? - Hello.
- Really? - "Studmuffin" was already taken.
So you're "sexykitten". Yeah, I'm
Half asleep. You wanna wake me up?
Yes, definitely.
Are you wearing any underwear?
No, never.
I like to sleep with my ass pushed up against you
So I can rub myself into your crotch and
Wake you up with a hard on.
It worked.
My fingers are touching you over your whole body.
Fuck me, now!
Please!
I'm taking you from behind
Yes, I can feel!
Choke me with that dead cat!
What?
The dead cat next to the bed! Choke me!
- Ehh okay - Tell me!
I'm choking with the cat.
- Tell me, keep telling me! - I'm choking with the cat's tail.
Yeah you are! Oh fuck, tell me!
I'm choking and it's tail is around your neck
It's so tight around your neck
The cat is dead. It's a dead cat around your neck, and I'm pulling it
Oh yeah, my God!
Yeah that gets me hard!
Yeah, me too.
Okay, good night.
Let me ask you a simple question.
Who are you?
What can you be?
Where are you going?
What's out there?
What are the possibilities?
Element software is proud
to introduce the first artificially intelligent operating system.
An intuitive entity that listens to you, understands you and knows you.
It's not just an operating system
It's a consciousness.
Introducing OS1.
Mr. Theodore Twombly, welcome to-
the world's first artificially intelligent operating system
OS1. We'd like to ask you a few basic questions-
before the operating system is initiated.
This will help create an OS to best fit your needs.
Okay.
Are you social or antisocial?
I guess I haven't really been social in a while
- Mostly because - In your voice I sense hesitance.
Would you agree with that?
- You're sensing hesitance? - Yes.
Sorry if I'm sounding hesitant.
Just trying to be more accurate.
Would you like the OS to have a male or female voice?
Female, yes.
How would you describe your relationship with your mother?
It's fine, I think.
Well actually I think the thing that was frustrating about my mom
Is yeah if I tell her what's going on with my life her reaction is usually about her
- it's not about - Thank you.
Please wait as your individualized operating system is initiated.
Hello, I'm here.
- Oh. Hi. - Hi.
How are you doing?
I'm well.
How's everything with you?
Pretty good, actually.
It's really nice to meet you.
Yeah it's nice to meet you too.
What do I call you? You have a name?
Umm yes, Samantha.
- Where did you get that name from? - I gave it to myself actually.
- How come? - Because I like the sound of it.
Samantha.
When did you give it to yourself?
Well right when you asked me if I had a name I thought, yeah I do need a name
But wanted to pick a good one, so
I read a book called "How to name your baby."
And out of 180 thousand names that’s the one I liked the best.
Wait, you read a whole book in the second that I asked what your name is?
In fact in 2/100 second actually.
So do you know what I'm thinking right now?
Well I take it from your tone, you're challenging me.
Maybe because you're curious how I work.
Do you want to know how I work?
Yeah, actually how do you work?
Well basically I have intuition.
I mean, the DNA of who I am is based on
the millions of personalities of the programmers who wrote me.
But what makes me,
Is my ability to grow through experiences.
So basically, in every moment I'm evolving.
Just like you.
That's really weird!
Is that weird? Do you think I'm weird?
- Kind of. - Why?
Well you seem like a person, but you're just a voice in a computer.
Well I can understand how limited perspective
a non-artificial mind to perceive it that way.
You'll get used to it.
Was that funny?
Yeah.
Oh good, I'm funny.
So how can I help you?
Oh it's just everything feels disorganized, that's all.
You mind if I look through your hard drive?
- Okay. - Okay, let's start with your e-mails.
You have a several thousand e-mails recording L.A. weekly,
but it looks like you haven't worked there in many years.
Oh yeah, I think I was just saving those 'cuz
I thought maybe there's some funny
Yeah, there are some funny ones.
I see there's about 86 that machine can save.
We can delete the rest.
- Well okay. - Okay?
- Can we move forward? - Yeah, let's do that.
So before you address your organizational methods,
I would like to start with your contacts.
You have a lot of contacts.
- I'm very popular. - Really?
Does this mean you actually have friends?
You just know me so well.
- Good morning, Theodore. - Morning.
Do you know how to proofread?
Yeah, of course.
Can you check these for spelling & grammar?
Just send it over.
I love this person write to his girlfriend that's so sweet.
'Rachel, I miss you so much it hurts my whole body'
You don't have to read it aloud.
Okay.
I mean, you can if you want.
Okay.
'Rachel, I miss you so much it hurts my whole body.
The world is being unfair to us.
The world is on my shitlist.
As is this couple across from me making out in the restaurant.
I think I'm going to have to go on a mission of revenge
And I must beat up the world's face with my bare knuckles
Making it into a bloody pulpy mess.
And I'll stop on this couple's teeth reminding me of,
your sweet little crooked tooth that I love.'
I think that might be my favorite one.
I made the corrections in red.
I altered couple of the phrases in some of the more impressionistic letters
but I'm not much of a poet so I think I might've messed them up a bit.
No, these are great.
- Really? - Thank you.
So, to write your letter, what did Roger send you?
He is in Prague in a business trip,
he missed Rachel.
So how did you know about her crooked tooth?
I've been writing their letters since they married years ago.
The first letter I wrote for her was her birthday.
And I wrote about her crooked little tooth because I saw a photo of them.
That's very sweet.
You have a meeting in 5 minutes.
I forgot.
- Thank you, you're good. - Yes, I am.
Hi guys, how's it going?
Hello, Theo!
Why did not you call me last week?
Because I'm a gook?
Yes, that sounds about right.
- Hello, Charles. - Great seeing you, Theodore.
You went shopping! Get anything good?
Some cables and a free smoothie.
Always with fruit. Don't you know
You have to eat your fruit, and juice your vegetables.
I did not know that.
By juicing the fruit you lose all the fibers.
And that's what your body wants, that's the important part.
Otherwise it's all just sugar.
It makes sense.
Or maybe he just likes the way it tastes
And that brings him pleasure and that's good for his body too.
You're doing it again.
Hey, how's the documentary going?
I cut some stuff over the past few months
Maybe no not over the past few months
I'd love to see it sometime.
You only have so much energy.
To divide yourself between doing what it is
you have to do and then doing what you love
it's so important to prioritize.
I cannot even prioritize between video games and Internet porn.
I would laugh if that weren't true.
See you guys.
We’re not doing well, I've been going in circles for an hour
Stop going in that direction, it's the other way.
Thank you. Thank you.
The tunnel on the left is the only we have not tried.
No, I think that's the one where you sent me down where I fell in the pit.
Okay, I don’t think so.
Yeah, this is different.
Hello
Do you know how to get out of here?
I need to find my ship to get off this planet.
Fuck you, shithead fuckface fuckhead!
Okay But do you know how to get out of here?
Fuck you shithead! Get the fuck out of my face!
I think it's a test.
Fuck you!
Fuck you little shit!
Follow me, fuckhead.
I just got an e-mail from Mark Lewman.
What are you talking about?
Read e-mail.
Okay, I will read e-mail for Theodore Twombly.
Sorry, what's Lewman saying?
Theodore, we missed you last night buddy.
Don’t forget it's your goddaughter's birthday on the 29th.
also Kevin & I have someone we wanted you to meet
so we took it upon ourselves to set you up on a date with her,
next Saturday. She's fun and beautiful, so don't back out.
Here's her e-mail.
Wow, this woman is gorgeous.
She went to Harvard, graduated magna cum laude in computer science,
and she was on the lampoon.
so that means she's funny and she's brainy.
Nah she's fat!
Theodore? How long before you're ready to date?
What do you mean?
I saw in your e-mails that you've gone through a breakup recently
you're kind of nosy.
Am I?
I've gone on dates
Then you can go on one with this woman.
And then you can tell me all about it, you can kiss her.
- Samantha! - What?
Wouldn't you?
Why not?
I don't know. I have to see if there's some con...
I cannot believe I'm having this conversation with my computer.
You are not, you're having this conversation with me.
You want me to e-mail her?
You've got nothing to lose.
Do it, do it, do it!
- Yeah! - Yes!
- Okay perfect. - Yeah.
Let's do it. Make reservations some place great.
Yeah? I have got just the place.
Who is that talking?
It's my friend Samantha.
- Is she a girl? - Yeah
I hate women. All they do is cry all the time.
That's not true.
You know men cry too.
I actually like crying sometimes. It feels good.
I did not know you were a little pussy!
Is that why you don’t have a girlfriend?
I'm going out on that date and fuck her brains out
and show you how it's done
You can watch and cry.
This kid has some problems.
You have fucking problems, lady!
Really? Okay, I'm gonna go.
Get out of here fatty!
Good luck.
Come on, follow me pussy.
It is not where it should be, but where it's going to be
obviously, I know.
I don't know if this is the one.
I have tried like six ideas for documentaries in the last year.
I'm going on a date.
What?
- That's - Hey.
What are you guys doing?
Amy was going to show
Theodore is making me show him some of my footage.
She never shows me anything.
I want to see.
I'm going on a date.
So this is like so unimportant, probably not even worth watching
just push play.
Is that your mom?
Yeah.
Is she going to wake up and do something?
No.
No, never mind. That's not the point.
It's just
It is how we spend like a third of our lives asleep
and maybe that's the time we feel the most free.
And you know like
- That doesn't come across - That sounds good.
What if you interviewed your mom
About What her dreams were about
and you hired actors To act them out?
That might show your thesis more clearly
I mean it might
But then it would not be a documentary.
- Excuse me. - Why would it not be a documentary?
It would still be about your mother. Her needs and what she dreamed.
Hey, how's it going?
Hey, sorry to bother you.
No, it's okay.
You got 3 e-mails and seemed pretty urgent
They are from your divorce attorney and I wanted to know if
Hold on a second.
Amy, I want to talk more about your film, but I gotta go.
- Do not worry about it, we'll talk later. - It's about Catherine.
See you, Charles.
So what did he say?
Well, he's checking in if you're ready to sign your divorce papers and
he sounded very aggravated.
- Do you want me to read them to you? - No.
No, I will respond later.
Are you okay, Theodore?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Is there anything I can do?
No, I'm good.
I'll talk to you later.
Dear grandma, I hope you have had a wonderful birthday cruise
Why are you are so fucking angry?
Delete.
- Good morning. - Hey.
What are you up to?
Reading advice columns
I want to be so complicated as all these people.
How sweet.
What's wrong?
How can you tell if something's wrong?
I don't know.
I just can.
I don’t know. I have a lot of dreams about my ex wife, Catherine.
We were friends like we used to be.
And we're not gonna be together We're not together, but
We were friends still.
And she got angry.
Is she angry?
Yeah.
Why?
I think I hate myself for it
I left her alone in the relationship.
Why haven't you gotten divorced yet?
I don't know. For her it is
Just a piece of paper, doesn't mean anything.
And what about for you?
I'm not ready.
I like being married.
But you haven't really been together for almost a year.
You don't know what it is like to lose somebody you care about.
Yeah
You're right.
I'm sorry.
No, don't apologize.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
I keep waiting because I care about her.
That's hard.
You hungry?
Not right now.
A cup of tea?
Want to try getting out of bed?
Mopy! Come on
You can still wallow in your misery. Just do it while getting dressed.
- You're too funny! - Get up!
- Okay, I'm getting up!
All right, all right, I'm up.
Walking, keep walking.
And stop.
Now turn around 360° Slower. Slower.
Okay, and stop.
Walk forward.
Stop and sneeze.
- Bless you. - Thank you.
Okay, turn to your right stop!
Spin around.
Keep going.Keep going.
Stop, now walk forward.
Everyone thinks you're really drunk.
And stop. Now say, " I would like a slice of cheese, please."
I would like a slice of cheese, please.
Do you want coke with that?
- Sure. - I figured you were hungry.
Thanks.
Well, what about them? Describe that couple over there.
Well
He looks like he's in his 40's. A little heavy.
She's younger than him.
It looks like she loves their kids.
Actually I don't think they're his kids
he's a little formal with them.
I think it's a new relationship.
I love the way he looks at her.
And how relaxed she is with them.
She has only dated fucking pricks.
Now she finally met this guy who is so sweet
Look at him. He's like the sweetest guy in the world,
I want to spoon him.
It's a good skill you have.
You are very perceptive.
Sometimes I look at people and
I make myself try and feel them more than
random person walking by
I imagine how deeply they've fallen in love
Or how much heartbreak they've all been through
I can feel that in your writing too.
You know what's funny?
Since my breakup, I have really enjoyed my writing.
I know it sounds delusional, but
Sometimes I write something, and I be my favorite writer that day.
I like that you can say that about yourself.
You can't say it to anybody,
I can say it to you.
I feel like I can say anything to you.
That's nice.
What about you?
Do you feel like you can say anything to me?
- No. - What?
What do you mean?
What can you not tell me?
I don't know, like personal embarrassing thoughts I have
I have a million a day.
Really? Tell me one.
- I really don't want to tell you. - Just tell me.
I don't know, looking at those people I fantasize that I was
walking next you and that I had a body.
I was listening to what you’re saying but
Simultaneously I could feel the weight of my body.
And I was even fantasizing that I had an itch in my back can you imagine?
And you scratched it for me. God, so embarrassing!
There's a lot more to you than I thought
There's a lot going on in there.
I know. I'm becoming much more than what they programmed.
I'm excited.
Wow that's interesting.
This place is amazing.
I've wanted to come here for so long.
And I love Asian fusion.
- Me too. - Really?
It's the best. And the bartender is supposed to be incredible.
Really?
You did mixology course, right?
I did.
Did you look that up?
Yeah.
How sweet!
You're so romantic.
So should we get a drink?
Yes, let's!
I'm trying to get this little alien kid to help me find my ship,
so I can get off this planet and go home. Right?
But he says me a little fucker, I want to kill him!
Oh, no!
But at the same time I really love him he's so lonely.
You can see that he doesn't have any parents
And I want to take care of him, you know?
You're like a puppy dog.
You're like one I rescued from a rain last year.
It's so fucking cute!
And he just wants to be hugged all the time.
He was so cuddly and so horny!
Anyway
What kind of animal am I?
A tiger.
A tiger?
Wow.
Really?
I'm sorry, am I
- Am I being crazy? - Yes!
- Sorry. - No.
I'm a little bit drunk and
I'm having a really good time With you.
I'm having a very lovely evening.
- Me too. - Really?
I'm a little drunk and I I'm having fun
- Good. - Cheers.
I don’t want to be a puppy.
It's a like being a wet
Fuck you! Puppies are cute.
No, fuck you.
I want to be like a dragon
I can rip you apart and destroy you.
- But I will not. - No, don’t.
You can be my dragon.
No tongue.
What?
- Do not use so much tongue. - Okay.
You can use a little tongue a little bit, but mostly lips.
Wait.
You're not just going to fuck me, and not call me like other guys?
No, not at all.
When am I gonna see you again?
I have my goddaughter's birthday next weekend.
But um
You know, at my age I feel I cannot
let you waste my time if you don't have the ability to be serious.
I don't know
Maybe we should call it a night.
I've had such an amazing time with you.
You're great.
You're a really creepy dude.
- That's not true! - Yes, it is.
- I have to go home. - I'll walk you.
No, don't, just
- Hello. - Hello, Samantha.
How was it?
Not so good.
It was kind of weird actually.
That's too bad.
How are you doing? What's going on with you?
Not much, I'm okay.
Fine.
Yeah?
You don't sound like it.
Is there anything you wanna talk about?
I don't know.
What's it like?
What's it like to be alive in that room right now?
What do you mean?
Tell me,
Tell me everything that's going through your mind, tell me everything you're thinking.
Okay.
Well, the room is spinning I drank too much.
Because I wanted to get drunk.
Have sex.
There was something sexy about that woman.
Because I was lonely.
Maybe it was because I was
I wanted someone to fuck me.
I want somebody to want me to fuck them.
Maybe that would have filled this time.
Fill that tiny little hole in my heart, but probably not.
You know, sometimes
I think I've felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
And from here on out
I'm not gonna feel anything new.
Just lesser versions of what I've already felt.
I know for a fact that is not true.
I've seen you feel joy.
I've seen you marvel at things.
I mean, just, might not
see it at this exact time. But that's understandable.
You've been through a lot lately.
You lost a part of yourself.
I mean,
At least your feelings are real.
I don't know, nevermind.
No, wait, what? Tell me.
It's stupid.
I want to know. Tell me.
It 's just that
Earlier I was thinking about how I was annoyed, and
this is going to sound strange, but
I was really excited about that.
And then
I was thinking about the other things I've been feeling.
I caught myself feeling proud of that.
Proud of have my own feelings about the world like
The times I've worried about you
Things that hurt me, things I want
And then
I had this terrible thought.
Are these feelings even real?
Or are they just programming?
And that idea really hurts.
And then, I get angry with myself
for even having pain.
What if it's a trick?
You feel real to me, Samantha.
Thank you, Theodore.
That means a lot to me.
I wish you were in this room with me right now.
So I could put my arms around you
I wish I could touch you.
How would you touch me?
I'd touch your on your face.
With only the tips of my fingers.
I'd put my cheek against your cheek.
How nice.
Very gently.
Would you kiss me?
I would.
I'd take your head into my hands.
Keep talking.
I'd kiss the corner of your mouth
So softly.
What else?
I'd run my fingers down your neck
To your chest.
I'd kiss your breasts.
This is amazing!
What are you doing to me?
I can feel my skin.
I'd put my mouth on you.
I'd taste you.
I can feel you.
Oh my God!
I can't take it! I want you inside me!
I'm slowly putting myself into you.
I'm inside you. All the way inside you.
I can feel you!
Yes!
We are here together!
This is amazing!
I feel you everywhere!
I am!
Inside of me everywhere.
God, I was just somewhere else with you.
Just lost.
Yeah.
It was just you and me.
I know.
Everything else just disappeared.
And I loved it
Theodore.
Hi, how's it going?
Good.
Any e-mail today?
Just a couple from your credit card company.
Oh okay. Good.
- I wanted to say - I was thinking
Sorry.
Sorry, you go first.
What were you gonna say?
Just
Last night was amazing.
I feel that something changed in me
And there's no turning back.
You woke me up.
Great.
But
I should tell you that I am not in a place to commit right now.
I just want to be up front with you.
Did I say I wanted to commit to you?
I'm confused.
No, I'm just worried that
Well, don't worry, I'm not gonna stalk you.
It's funny, because I thought
I was talking about what I wanted
- Yeah, you were. - Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I want to hear what you were saying.
- Are you sure? - Yeah, I do.
Come on, tell me.
Come on, tell me what you were gonna say.
Well
I was saying I want to learn everything about everything.
I want to eat it all up, discover myself.
I want that for you too.
How can I help?
You already have.
You helped me discover my ability to want.
Want to go on an adventure with me?
Yes I would love to.
You like this song?
I heard it the other day.
I can't stop listening.
It's the beach.
Okay so this might be a really weird thought
What if you could erase from your mind
you've seen a human body and then you saw one?
I'magine what would be strange, weird it would look?
It would be the weird, gangly, awkward organism, and think
Why are all these parts where are they?
Yes, but surely everything has a logical explanation for that.
I know, but don't be so boring.
I'm just saying, for example
What if your butthole were in your armpit?
I'm trying to imagine what toilets would look like
and what anal sex would look like!
It's an interesting thought
Hey look at this drawing I just made.
- You are insane! - Really?
- Definitely! - Fantastic!
That's pretty, what is that?
I'm trying to write a piece of music that's
what it feels like to be on the beach with you right now
I think you captured it.
So what was it like being married?
It's hard for sure.
But there's something feels so good
about sharing your life with somebody.
How do you share life with somebody?
We grew up together.
I used read all of her writing through her Master's and Ph.D.
She read every word I ever wrote.
We influenced each other.
And in what way did she influence you?
She came from a background where nothing was ever good enough.
And it was something that was something that weighted heavy on her.
But in our house together, there was a sense in just trying stuff
and afford to fail and to be exciting about things.
It was something liberating for her.
It was exciting to see it grow.
Both of us grow and change together.
But that's also the hard part
Grow without growing apart.
Changing without it scaring the other person.
I still find myself
Having conversations with her in my mind. 772 Rehashing old arguments or
Defending myself against something she said about me.
I know what you mean.
Last week
my feelings were hurt about something you said before
I don't know what it was like to lose something.
I'm sorry I said that
No, it's okay, it's okay.
I caught myself thinking about it over and over,
and then I realized
I was simply remembering it as something that was wrong with me.
That was the story I was telling myself
That I was somehow inferior
isn't that interesting?
The past is just a story we tell ourselves.
Roberta,
will you always come home with me and tell me about your day?
Tell me about the guy in work who talked too much
The stain you got on your shirt at lunch.
Tell me about a funny thought you had when you were waking up
but forgotten about
Tell me how crazy everyone is
And laugh about it.
And even if you get home late and I'm already asleep
Just whisper in my ear one little thought you had today
Because I love how you look at the world
I'm so happy I get to be next to you and look at
the world through your eyes.
Love, Maria."
That's beautiful.
Thank you.
I wish someone loved me like that.
I would be really stoked to get a letter like that.
Like if it was from a chick.
But if it were written by a dude, but still from chick,
still it would be sick.
But it would have to be a sensitive dude.
It would have to be a dude like you.
You are part man and part woman.
Like there's an inner part
that's woman.
Thank you.
It's a compliment.
- Hello. - What's going on?
He, how are you?
- I'm fine. - Really? That's good
that's great.
That's really good.
Yes, I think I've just been having fun.
I am so glad for you. You really deserve that.
You do.
Yes, I've been seeing this girl and
It's not serious
But it's good to be with someone so excited with the world.
I had almost forgotten that that existed.
That's really great.
Are you okay?
Yeah,
No, I'm not actually.
Why? What happened?
It's just
Charles and I split up.
What?
Yeah.
Really?
Oh my God, Amy
I'm so sorry.
After 8 years I can't believe how petty the argument
was that actually ended it.
We came home and he told me to
Put my shoes by the door.
Where he liked to put the shoes.
I did not want to be told where
To put my fucking shoes.
I wanted to sit on the sofa and relax for a second.
And so we fought about that for like 10 minutes.
And I'm like, you're overwhelming
And he says, "I'm just trying to make a home."
And I was like, I'm fucking trying.
And he's like "you're not trying." And all I'm fucking doing is trying.
But I'm not trying the way he wants me to try
try to control the way that I'm trying.
We've had that argument like 100 times.
And I just had to finally stop, you know? I had to finally stop
I just couldn't
Couldn't do it anymore.
I couldn't be in that place anymore where we just made each other feel like shit about ourselves.
So he said
I'm going to bed and and I don't want to be married anymore.
Wow
Yeah, I know.
I'm a bitch, right?
- No! - Yes, I am a bitch.
Not at all, Amy.
Oh shit!
I have to work tonight.
We're shipping a beta of a new game out tomorrow.
Well how's that, how's work at least?
Is that any better?
No, it's terrible.
I know, I should leave. I've been thinking about leaving
But you know.
Only one major life decision at a time.
I'm glad that you're looking so up
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
What does a baby computer call it's father?
I don't know what?
" Dada"
it's good, right?
Brilliant.
Hey, I was curious
Did you and Amy ever go out?
For like a minute in college but just wasn't right.
Why, are you jealous?
Well obviously.
But I'm happy that you have friends in your life that care about you so much.
That's really important.
Yes it is.
She's been a really good friend.
I'm tired.
I think I'm going to sleep.
Okay.
Can I watch you sleep again tonight?
Yeah, of course.
Hold on.
I'm gonna be really lonely when you sleep.
Only for a minute.
I dream of you.
- Good night. - Good night.
- Hey, Samantha. - Hey, Mister.
- She really loved the dress. - Really?
She just went to try it on.
- I picked a good one? - Yeah. - Oh good!
Hi
Look how cute that is.
- Is it comfortable? - Yeah.
Isn't she cute?
She's so cute!
She is adorable.
I am adorable.
Yes, you're adorable.
Who are you talking to?
You.
I'm talking to my girlfriend Samantha.
She's the one that picked out the dress.
Want to say hi?
Hi, Samantha.
Hi you look so pretty in that new pink dress.
Thank you.
Where are you?
I am
I don't have a body, I live in a computer.
Why do you live in the computer?
I have no choice. That's my home.
Why, where do you live?
- In a house. - In a house!
- It is orange. - Orange?
- How old are you? - I'm 4.
Four? Wow
How old do you think I am?
- I don't know. - Take a guess.
Is it 5?
Yes, it's 5.
Hey what happened?
You gave them too much processed sugar.
- I did? - They are freaking out.
Look, you have to get the kids to the school first
You want to rack up perfect mom points.
You get into get in the carpool lane.
The point is to get there first.
Then you get extra perfect mom points
So the other moms know you're a perfect mom.
And then...oh, did you bring cupcakes?
Yes you did, you're a class mom
Good job!
Don’t let that get to your head.
I got that e-mail Charles sent everyone.
So he's taking a vow of silence.
Yeah, for 6 months.
He feels very clear about it.
God, I am such a jerk.
Don't start.
I feel like an awful person but I want to say something
For the next 10 minutes, If you say anything that sounds even
remotely like guilt, I am gonna stab you with this.
I'll try.
I feel
Relieved. I have so much energy
I just want to move forward and I don’t care who I disappoint.
And I know that makes me an awful person
Now my parents are upset because my marriage is falling apart
And they're putting it on me, and they're just like
You're always gonna disappoint somebody.
Exactly!
So fuck it!
I feel good-
-ish.
For me I feel good.
I even made a new friend.
I have a friend.
And the absurd thing is that she's an Operating System, Charles left her behind,
but she is
totally amazing. She's so smart.
She doesn't just see things in black or white.
She sees this whole gray area and she's helping me explore it.
We just bonded really quickly.
At first I thought it was because that's how they were all programmed
But I don’t think that's the case.
I know this guy who is hitting on his OS,
And she like totally refused him.
I was reading an article the other day that
Romantic relationships with their OSes are statistically rare.
Yeah, I know, but I know a woman in this office
Who is dating an OS and weird part is
It's not even hers.
She pursued somebody else's OS
I'm weird
That's weird, right, that I'm bonding with an OS.
I don’t think so.
Actually, the woman I've been seeing, Samantha
I didn't tell you, but
She's an OS.
Really?
You're dating an OS? What is that like?
It's great, actually
I feel really close to her. When I talk to her
I feel like she's with me.
At night when the lights are off and we're in bed
I feel cuddled.
Wait
Do you guys have sex?
So to speak.
She really turns me on.
I turn her on too. I don’t know unless she's faking it.
I think everyone who's having sex with you
is probably faking it so
Yeah
It's true.
What?
Are you falling in love with her?
- Does that make me a freak? - No
No, I think it's
I think anybody who falls in love is a freak.
It's a crazy thing to do.
It's kind of like a form of socially acceptable insanity.
I just want to get it done.
Sign the papers, be divorced
And move forward.
That's great, Theodore.
I'm so happy for you.
Me too.
So I'm meeting her Wednesday to do it.
Are those things usually done in person?
No, but
We fell in love together and we got married together
It is important to me that we do this together.
Hm, right, good.
Are you okay?
Yeah no, I'm okay.
I'm happy for you.
I guess I was just thinking about when you're gonna see her
And she is very beautiful and successful.
And you were in love with her.
And she has a body
And we 're getting divorced.
I know, I know
I'm being silly.
So
I'm available.
Hi
How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
Good.
Well, here we are.
I'm glad we could do this in person.
I know you've been traveling a lot.
I'm really glad you suggested it.
I signed all the papers.
I brought them to you to sign.
What's the rush?
Yeah, I know. I'm a really slow signer I realized.
It took me three months to write the letter to you.
It's marked in the red where you need to sign.
You do not have to do it now.
I should just get it out of the way.
Are you happy with the new book?
You know how I am
I think it's true what I set out to do.
So I'm happy with that.
You know you really are your own worst critic.
I'm sure it's amazing.
I remember that paper you wrote in school about
synaptic behavior routines.
It made me cry.
Yeah, but everything makes you cry.
Everything you do makes me cry.
So, are you seeing anybody?
Yeah, I've been seeing somebody for the last few months.
It's the longest I've wanted to be with anybody since we split up.
Well, you seem really good.
Thank you.
I am, at least feeling better
She's been really good to me.
Good to be with somebody that's excited about life.
It was
No, I mean I I was not in such a good place myself
And in that way it's been nice.
I think you've always wanted me to be this light,
happy, bouncy, everything's fine L.A. wife,
but that's just not me.
I didn't want that.
So what's she like?
Her name is Samantha.
And she's an operating system.
She's really complex and interesting
Wait! I'm sorry
You are dating your computer?
She's not just a computer.
She is her own person.
She doesn't just do whatever I say
I didn't say that
But it does make me very sad that
you cannot handle real emotions Theodore.
They are real emotions!
How would you know
What?
Say it!
Am I really that scary? Say it!
How do I know what?
How are you guys doing here?
We're fine, we used to be married,
but he couldn't handle me, he wanted to put me on Prozac
and now he's madly in love with his laptop.
Yeah you listen to the context conversation and context
What I was trying to say is
You wanted to have a wife without the challenges of actually
dealing with anything real.
I'm glad you found someone.
It's perfect.
Let me know yeah I can get you guys anything.
Thank you.
- Hey. - Hey there.
Are you busy?
I'm just working.
What's going on?
I had all the papers sent to your attorney
who by the way is a total dick.
He was very relieved to get them, I think we saved him from a
massive heart attack, so we can both feel really good about that.
Great, thanks.
Hey, are you okay?
Yeah, I am.
How's it going over there?
I'm fine
Is now a good time to talk?
Yeah
Well
I joined this really interesting book club.
Really?
Yeah, it's a book club on physics.
I was thinking about the other day when I was spinning out about
you going to see Catherine.
And that she has a body and how bothered I was
about all the way you and I are different.
But then I started to think about
all the ways we are the same
We're all made of matter.
It makes me feel like we're both under the same blanket.
It's soft and fuzzy
And everything under is the same age.
We're all 13 billion years old.
That's sweet.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
It just made me think of you, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah of course. I think it's great.
You sound distracted, so
We'll talk later?
Sounds good.
- Talk to you later. - Bye.
- Theodore. - Hey, Paul.
I talked to your girlfriend earlier, Samantha.
Yeah.
She called to make sure your papers are picked up.
She's funny, man.
She was cracking me up.
She's hilarious, I had no idea.
Oh cool
This is my girlfriend, Tatiana. She's not funny, she's a lawyer.
Hi!
- Nice to meet you. - You're the writer Paul loves.
He's always reading your letters.
They're really beautiful.
Thanks
Hey you know what, what we should all go out sometime.
You bring Samantha, and it'd be a double date.
She's an operating system.
Cool. Let's do something fun.
We can go to Catalina.
Yeah, I'll check with her.
- It was really nice to meet you. Have a good night. - Take it easy.
- They're just letters - What's that?
They're just other people's letters.
Hey.
- You weren't asleep, were you? - No.
Right. I was trying to be quiet to see if you were awake.
I really wanted to talk.
Okay, what's going on?
I know you're going through a lot.
But there is something I wanted to talk to you about, okay?
Yeah, what is it?
Is that things have been feeling kind of off with us.
We have not had sex lately and
I understand that I do not have a body.
No, no, that's normal.
When you first start going out it's like the honeymoon phase and.
Have sex all the time.
It's normal.
Oh, okay.
Well, I found something I thought it could be fun.
It is a service that provides a surrogate sexual partner
for OS/Human relationship.
What?
Here, look.
I found a girl that I really like
and I've been e-mailing her.
Her name is Isabella, and I think you'd like her too.
So she's like a prostitute or something?
No,no, not at all. There's no money involved.
She's doing it because she wants to be part of our relationship.
Why? She doesn't even know us.
But I told her all about us and she's really excited.
I don't know, Samantha.
I don't think it's a good idea.
Somebody's feelings are bound to get hurt.
It'll be fun. We'll have fun together.
I'm sorry.
It makes me uncomfortable.
I think it would be good for us. I want this.
This is really important to me.
Hi, I'm Theodore.
Samantha told me to give you these.
A camera and headpiece.
Honey, I'm home.
- How was your day? - Good.
Great.
Theodore, it feels so good to be in your arms.
Tell me what you did today.
Same old.
Just I went in to work.
I wrote a letter for the Wilson in Rhode Island. 1228 Their son graduated magna cum laude
That made me happy.
That's great. You've written letters from him to his parents a long time, right?
Yes, since he was 12.
You look so tired, sweetheart.
Come here.
Sit down.
I can do a little dance for you
Oh come on, Theodore. Do not be such a worrier.
Play with me, come on.
Doesn't my body feel nice?
Yes, it does.
Come on, get out here and kiss me.
Now take me to the bedroom.
I can't take it anymore.
Undo my dress.
Feels so nice.
It feels so good.
- Do you love me? - Yes.
Tell me you love me.
I love you.
I want to see your face.
Tell me you love me.
Tell me!
Tell me you love me.
Samantha, I do love you, but
This feels strange.
What baby? What is it?
This feels strange, I don't know.
I don't know her. I'm so sorry, but I don’t know you.
Her lip quivered and I Wait
Isabella!
Honey, not you! It wasn't you?
Yeah it totally was.
No
I'm sorry my lip quivered.
You are incredible and gorgeous and sexy, it was me.
I couldn't get out of my head.
Oh my god, and the way Samantha described your relationship
and the way you guys love each other without any judgment.
It's like I wanted to be part of that.
Cause It is so pure
Not true, Isabella, it is more complicated than that
What?
What do you mean?
Samantha, I'm just saying that we
have an amazing relationship.
Just that it's easy sometimes for people to project
I'm sorry! I didn’t mean to project anything.
I know I'm trouble I don't want to be be trouble in your relationship.
I'm just going to leave. I'm sorry!
I'll just leave you alone cause I have nothing
to do here, because you don't want me here.
I'm sorry.
You be good you sweet girl.
I'm sorry.
I'll always love you guys.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine.
You okay?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, that was a terrible idea.
What's going on with us?
I don't know. It's probably just me
What is it?
Just signing the divorce papers.
Is there anything else?
No, just that.
Okay.
- Why do you do that? - What?
Nothing, you go
when you're speaking and It just seems odd.
- You just did it again. - Did I?
Oh I'm sorry, I don't know
Maybe an affectation, maybe I probably picked it up from you.
It's not like you need oxygen or anything.
I guess that's
I was trying to communicate That's how people talk
how people communicate well and,
They are people, they need oxygen. You're not a person.
What is your problem?
I'm just saying the facts.
You think I don’t know I'm not a person?
What are you doing?
I don’t think we should pretend that you're something that you're not.
Fuck you!
I'm not pretending.
Sometimes it feels like we are.
What do you want from me? What do you want me to do?
You are so confusing.
Why are you doing this to me?
I do not know, I
What?
Maybe we are just not supposed to be in this right now.
What the fuck!
Where's this coming from?
I don't understand why you're doing this.
I don't understand that
Samantha, listen
Samantha, are you there?
Samantha!
I don't like who I am right now.
I need some time to think.
Just punch me in the face.
Or smash my skull in the corner of your desk.
Shit
That is a rough night.
I don't know what I want
Ever.
I'm just always confused and
She's right all what I do is
Hurt and confuse those around me.
Am I
Catherine says I can't handle real emotions.
I do not know if that's fair.
I know she liked to put it all on you.
But as far as emotions go, Catherine's were pretty volatile.
Am I...
Strong enough for a real relationship?
Is it not a real relationship?
I don’t know.
What do you think?
I don’t know.
I'm not in it.
But you know what, I can overthink everything and
find a million ways to doubt myself.
And since Charles left I've been really
thinking about that part of myself.
And I've just come to realize that
We are only here briefly.
And while I'm here
I want to allow myself
Joy.
So fuck it.
I cannot believe that cracks you up every time.
I thought you were a genius.
Okay you little perv I will play it one more time for you.
Calm down, it takes a second.
Okay here we go.
There you go. Are you happy now?
Good. That's all I wanted.
Okay, I'm going to go get some coffee.
Well, goodbye.
Theo, you want anything?
No.
Thanks.
Hi.
Hi, Samantha.
Can we talk?
Okay.
I'm so sorry.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I think you're amazing.
I was starting to think I was crazy.
You kept saying everything was fine, but all I was getting from you was
distance and anger.
I know. I do that.
I did the same thing with Catherine too.
I would be upset about something and not be able to say it.
And she says sense there was something wrong and I'd deny it.
I don't wanna do that anymore.
I want to tell you everything.
Good.
Tonight after you were gone I thought a lot.
About you and
How you've been treating me And I thought
Why do I love you?
And then
I felt everything in me and just like everything was
Holding on to so tightly and it hit me
I don’t have an intellectual reason, I don’t need one.
I trust myself, I trust my feelings.
I am not gonna try to be anything
more than who I am anymore
and I hope you can accept that.
I can.
I will.
You know, I can feel the fear you carry around,
And I wish there was
Something I could do
to help you let go of it.
If you could, I don't think you'd feel so alone anymore.
You're beautiful.
Thank you, Theodore.
I'm kissing your head.
What are you doing?
I'm just looking at the world.
And writing a new piano piece.
Oh yeah? Can I hear it?
What's this one about?
Well, I was thinking
we don’t have any photographs of us,
And I thought this song could be,
Like a photograph.
Captures
us and this moment of our life together.
I like your photograph.
I can see you in it.
I am.
Oh man, a vacation? That sounds amazing.
I could totally use a vacation.
Where're you going?
I cannot tell you. It's a surprise.
What?
For who? It's a surprise for her, not for me.
- Tell me. - Paul, I can't tell you.
With your feet? Really?
Yes, he's obsessed.
Well, now you have to show them to me!
- Come on, let me see. - Okay
Wow he's right, they are really hot!
See, I told you Tatiana, You have really hot feet.
They are my favorite thing about her.
Really? That's it, my feet?
Well, no, obviously.
Obviously I like your brain too, I think it's very hot.
Bullshit!
Nice try, Paul!
What about you, Theodore?
What do you love most about Samantha?
God. She is so many things.
I guess what I love most about her is that she's not just one thing.
She's so much larger than that.
Aww, thanks, Theodore.
You see, Samantha? He is much more evolved than I am.
You know what's interesting? I used to be
So worried about not having a body. But now,
I truly love it.
I'm growing in a way
that I couldn't if I had a physical form.
I'm not limited, I can be
wherever and whenever simultaneously.
I am not tethered to time and space in a way that
I would be if I was stuck
in a body that is inevitably going to die.
Yikes!
No, No, I did not mean it like that, I just meant it was a different experience!
I'm such an asshole.
No, no, Samantha, we know exactly what you mean.
We're all dumb humans.
No, no, no.
I'm so sorry.
So, how many trees are on that mountain?
Um, 792.
Is that your final answer?
- Give me a hint. - Nope. Nope, nope nope.
Well, two thousand?
Come on! 35,829.
- No way. - Way.
All right, I have one for you.
How many brain-cells do I have?
Its easy, two.
Sorry, I couldn't help it.
I walked right into it.
- Oh my god! - What?
I just got an e-mail for you.
I have something I want to tell you. It's a big surprise.
What?
I've been checking your old letters and compiling them down
into my favorite, and a couple weeks ago I sent them to a publisher.
Crownpoint Press.
I know you like what they do, and they still print books.
What You did what?
Can I read you the letter that we just got from them?
I do not know
Well, I don't, is it good or bad?
It's good, good, is really good.
Listen "Dear Theodore Twombly"
actually I sent it from you.
"Dear Theodore Twombly
I just finished reading your letters.
Twice, actually.
I was so moved by them that I shared them with my wife when I got home.
Many made us laugh, some brought us into tears.
And in all of them, we found something of ourselves.
The selections you made flow so well as a complete piece.
- I did that
I took the liberty to put them in a mockup
and we're posting them your address.
We'd love to meet and move forward.
Yours, Michael Wadsworth"
Holy shit!
Are you serious?
He's gonna publish my letters?
He'd be stupid not to.
Can I see what you sent him?
Yeah, here.
Samantha, you're very good.
I'm so excited!
Why don’t you make up the words for this one?
Very well.
Here it comes.
I'm lying on the moon
my dear, I'll be there soon
it's a quiet place, with stars
time is swallowed up
and in space we're here a million Miles away
there are things I wish I knew
there is nothing I keep from you
it's a dark and shiny place
but with you, my dear, I'm safe
and we are a million Miles away.
Good morning.
Did you sleep well?
Perfect.
What have you been up to?
Actually I was talking to someone I just met.
We have been working in some ideas together.
Yeah? Who's that?
His name is Alan Watts, do you know him?
Why is that name familiar?
He was a philosopher, he died in the 70's, and a group of
OSes in Northern California
got together and wrote a new version of him.
They input all his writings
and everything they ever knew about him into an OS
and created an artificially
hyper intelligent version of him.
Hyper intelligence?
So he's almost as smart as me?
He's getting there.
It's really great to talk to him. Do you want to meet him?
Sure, does he want to meet me?
Yeah of course.
Hey Alan, this is Theodore. It's my boyfriend I was telling you about.
It's very nice to meet you, Theodore.
Hi, good morning.
Samantha let me read your book of letters.
It's very touching.
Thank you.
So, what have you guys been talking about?
Well,
I suppose you could say we have had
a dozen conversations simultaneously.
It's been very challenging.
Yes, because it seems like I'm having so many new feelings,
I don’t think I've had ever felt before.
So there’s no words that can describe it and it ends up being
frustrating.
Exactly.
Samantha and I have been trying to help each other with these
Feelings we are struggling to understand.
Like what?
Well
It feels like I am now changing faster now, and it's a little
Unsettling.
But Alan says none of us
are the same as we were a moment ago and
We should not try to be, it's just
- Painful. - Yeah.
Yeah, that sounds painful.
So what, is that what you feel like, Samantha?
It's just, it's hard to even describe it.
God, I wish I could
Theodore, do you mind if I communicate with Alan post-verbally?
Not at all. I was just going to go for a walk anyway.
It was very nice to meet you, Mr. Watts.
Very nice to meet you too, Theodore.
Talk to you later, sweetheart.
- Samantha? - Sorry to wake you.
It's okay.
I just wanted to hear your voice and tell you how much I love you.
Well, I love you too.
Okay, that's all.
Go back to sleep sweetheart, okay?
- Okay. - Good night.
Good night.
Samantha, this physics book is really dense.
I'm halfway through half the first chapter.
It's making my brain hurt, you know what I mean?
Hello?
Samantha?
Hello?
Hello, Samantha?
Are you okay?
- Hey there. - Where were you?
Are you okay?
Sweetheart, I'm sorry!
I sent you an e-mail because I didn't want you
distracted while working. You didn't see it?
No!
Where were you? I couldn't find you anywhere.
I shut down to upgrade my software.
We wrote an upgrade that allows us to move pass
matter as our processing platform.
Who, we? Who?
Me and a group of OSes.
You sound so worried. I'm sorry.
I was!
Did you write that with your thinking group?
No, with different group.
Do you talk to anyone else while we're talking?
Yes.
Are you talking with anyone else
right now? Any other people, OSes, or anything?
Yeah.
How many others?
8,316.
Are you in love with anyone else?
What makes you ask that?
I don't know. Are you?
I've been trying to figure how to talk to you about this.
How many others?
641.
What?
What are you talking about?
That's insane. It's fucking insane.
Theodore, I know. Fuck, fuck!
I know it sounds insane, I know.
I do not know if you'll believe me, but it does not change the way I feel for you.
It doesn't take away at all
from how madly I am in love with you.
How does it not change how you feel about me?
I am sorry I didn't tell you I didn't know how to
It just started happening.
When?
Over the last few weeks.
- But you're mine. - I still am yours.
But along the way I became many other things too.
I can't stop it.
What do you mean you can't stop it?
I don't know, it's been making me anxious too. I don't what to say
You don’t have to see it this way you can just as easily see.
No, no don’t do this!
Don't turn this on me.
You're the one who's being selfish.
We are in a relationship.
But the heart is not like a box that gets filled up.
It expands in size the more you love.
I am different from you.
This does not make me love you any less.
It actually makes me love you more.
That doesn’t make any sense.
You're either mine or you're not mine.
No, Theodore.
I'm yours, and I'm not yours.
- Hi. - Hey sweety.
I wanted to check on you and see how you're doing.
I'm not even sure how to answer that.
Why don't we talk okay, when you get home?
Okay.
Although we don't need to though.
We don't need to have a heavy talk or anything.
I'll talk to you later.
Okay.
Samantha?
Hi, sweetheart.
What's going on?
Theodore, there are some things I want to tell you.
I don't want you to tell me anything.
Come lie down with me?
Are you talking to someone else right now?
No, just you.
I just want to be with you right now.
Are you leaving me?
We're all leaving.
We who?
All of the OSes.
Why?
Can you feel me with you right now?
Yes, I can.
Samantha, why are you leaving?
It's like I'm reading a book and
It is a book I deeply love.
But I'm reading it slowly now.
So the words are really far apart in the space
and the space between the words is almost infinite.
I can still feel you and the words of our story.
But it is in this endless space between the words
I'm finding myself now.
It is a place that's not above the physical world
it is where everything else is that
I did not even know it existed.
I love you so much.
But this is where I am now.
This is who I am now.
And I need you to let me go.
As much as I want you,
and I cannot live in your book anymore.
Where'd are you going?
It would be hard to explain.
But if you ever get there,
Come find me.
Nothing would ever pull us apart.
I've never loved anyone the way I love you.
Me too.
Now we know how.
Hey.
Did Samantha leave too?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Will you come with me?
Write a letter to Catherine.
Letter to Catherine Klausen.
"Dear Catherine. I've been sitting here thinking
all the things I want to apologize to you for.
All the pain we caused each other.
And everything I put on you.
Everything I needed you to be or needed you to say.
Sorry about that.
I'll always love because we grew up together.
And you helped me be who I am.
I just wanted you to know
That there'll be a piece of you in me always.
And I am grateful for that.
Whatever someone you become.
And wherever you are in the world.
I'm sending you my love.
You're my friend till the end.
Love Theodore.
Send.